If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
