from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
