it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
