I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
