I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
