Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
