did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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