I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize