may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
