I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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