I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The power of my boobs compel you
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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