dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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