Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
