mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
