I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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