KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
