this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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