why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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