ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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