Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
