Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
