somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
