i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
