arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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