I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
