I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh god it's open bar.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
