the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
