i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
