I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize