nut hugger
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Randomize
