Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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