U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
