Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
