nutella sex= disaster
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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