Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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