we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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