im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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