Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
