dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
