Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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