i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
