But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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