Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
