I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
