did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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