youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
