I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize