he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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