So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
