I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Randomize
