Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
