She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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