My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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