I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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