i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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