Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
