you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
