Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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