there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
