the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
