Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
