Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
