i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
