i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
