Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
