Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
