So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize