3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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